reflections

5 september 2019.

i just wanted to share something i’ve been reflecting on lately. if you make it to the end of this post, thank you. i hope i inspire at least 1 person with this. 🖤

these photos are 8 years apart.

the first one, i was 18 a freshman in college. a time where i should have been living my life to the fullest and exploring the world for the first time being away from my parents. instead, i let the world dictate who i was becoming. i hardly ate because i didn’t want to be “fat.” i wore make up so i wasn’t “ugly.” i kept up with fashion trends so i was “cool.” but in reality, i hated myself. as the days went on, i was so unhappy with myself and my life. i didn’t make one decision on my own, my life was in the hands of my boyfriend at the time and that still didn’t make him happy or want to stay. i let this continue for a while not knowing i was about to be facing the hardest couple of months i’ve ever gone through. i didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, i thought this was the end. flash forward.

the second picture, i am now 26 years old. i am happy. with MYSELF. for myself. by myself. over the years, i’ve had ups and downs where i felt i was stuck in my 18 year old self life and mindset. but i continued to stay positive and do things because i wanted to. not for society, for friends, for family or for boyfriends.

my journey for self love started roughly early 2012 and even though i am comfortable in my own skin, my journey does not end here. the journey to self love has NO time limit. it’s ever changing. i don’t want it to end. i want to love myself more each day because i am worth loving. i’m continuing to surprise myself with how strong i can be. and i love that for myself. so thank you for the ones who stuck by me through my darkest times (you know who you are), i owe part of this to you.

but i also want to take credit myself as well. changing my mindset was hard, going through what i went through was hard (which is a whole different topic) but i proved everyone wrong. i came out stronger and happier.

and i can proudly say..i love myself.