reproductive rights: i cannot believe i am even blogging about this...

i knew being a therapist would come with many, many challenges; yet, i was humbled and excited to embark on a journey where others trusted me with their challenges and successes. but being honest...i didn't think this challenge would be one of them......

during my time in grad school, we worked on and through our own worldview to understand how that may effect how we are in the therapy room with clients.

flash forward 6 years, i have gained so much knowledge from my myself and my clients about culture, values and worldview. it was a lesson i both needed and wanted to grow through. not just to grow as a therapist; as a human being living in a world with such amazing diversity around me daily.

since my journey to becoming a therapist started in 2016, the world has been navigating political changes that are heavy for many. this has been spilling into the therapy room for many clients. politics certainly impacts one’s mental health; whether or not some want to believe that or not.

i have been used to advocating for my clients wellbeing in and out of their homes throughout my years as a therapist. this is the part of the job that they don’t necessarily teach in school; yet it has been the most rewarding part for me. to help be a voice for those who may feel to scared to speak up, to be a support next to those who want to yet are scared to do it alone and to be a cheerleader for those who do feel comfortable to do so themselves. no matter which person it was; i was there to support, advocate and validate each & every one of them with their decision to or not to speak up about political changes & how it effected their lives.

the stigma that instills fear for some to be open to share their feelings and beliefs about major changes in the US that affect their individual worlds is real, and common. why is this even a thing in 2022; where we are supposed to have a safe space to speak freely and be encouraged to do so? oh..the many thoughts i have on this.

now, i am on the other side of this coin. i am one of millions who are personally affected by these political changes with the overturn of the roe vs wade laws.

i am scared, i am angry, i am sad; i am a woman.

reproductive rights being taken away directly affect me; as a woman, as a mom to an angel in heaven, as a daughter, as a sister, as a partner, as a friend, as a united states citizen and ..even as a therapist.

immediately, i went into fight or flight mode. previous trauma resurfaced for me and i felt stuck. i previously have processed this trauma in therapy; but i am a human being with real feelings to the political climate we are currently in. that is within normal limits; i love that i am able to feel strongly and connect to these emotions…yet i hate that i am needing to for these reasons.

i've had two medical abortions. both times i had my rights as a women to make a free choice to what was best for both myself & my unborn babies health, emotions and safety.

the first was in 2011; i was a mere, timid, scared 18 year old girl with a boy who treated me, quite frankly, like shit. i ultimately made a choice with MY RIGHTS to end the pregnancy to protect my safety. (this is also something majority of my family/friends don't know about me. i don't like to talk about it. i feel embarrassed and hurt. yet something compelled me to add it to the blog..)

the second was in 2019; i was 26 years old, pregnant with my current boyfriend's child. at 12.5 weeks, we found out the baby had no heartbeat. i tried to bleed it out naturally, but 1 week later my baby was still dead inside of my body and had to have a D&C to protect my health. or i could have had severe consequences.

neither abortion (because yes that is technically what they are) were wanted by me. fuck, i would have loved and still love if i had both my babies earth side with me. these healthcare procedures were necessary to save my life.

i cannot imagine if i didn't have the choice either time. it sickens me to think about people in my position moving forward, not even having that right to choose. i am sorry.

my 2nd thoughts on this topics (outside of my personal world) was...

“how am i support to help clients process this when i, myself, am struggling to understand how this is the world we now live in?”

this is a huge question. a question i am unsure if there is really “one” or a “right” answer for.

i shared on my social media pages that i was scared and unsure what to do next as a therapist of primarily teenage girls and young adult women.

a response i got (from a stranger that i have never met before) was “from a therapists patients perspective, you are a pocket of peace and safety for your clients. your presence is impactful itself.”

this reminded me that i am human first. therapist second.

be honest. be present. be me.

of course, therapy treatment, interventions, modalities, etc will always be important in the process.

right now, i am the biggest tool in the room. now more than ever, my presence matters a great deal to my clients.

i am not saying i will throw away my training and education. not in the least bit.

what i am sayings that woven into my treatment as a therapist will be ME, being ME.

being present and honest with my clients. through all the hard topics, feelings, questions, insights.

that quote in response to me questioning my career as a therapist during these tough times resonated with me.

these issues are larger than me, or my career.

i want to emphasize that even therapists go through tough emotions, all the time, and cannot necessarily process them easily ourselves.

some people see therapists as exempt from mental health. thats far from true. and unfortunately, this issue has reminded me of that every day since.

so to my fellow therapist friends; i see you, i hear you and i understand you.

i am grieving for myself, my family, my friends, my clients and all the humans in America who have a uterus or just care about human rights.

i now understand when clients give push back to speak up for themselves. it is hard, draining, scary; you name it. whatever you are feeling is valid!

i feel empowered right now to be a voice for myself and those who feel they cannot; yet i also feel alone, hurt and scared.

despite my grief, anger and fear. this is my calling and i am here for ANYONE who needs someone to lean on during these tough times.

i, we, women, humans with a uterus deserve better.

we will not back down.

Here are some resources I have found doing research myself and through trainings i took to help further my knowledge:

• from Clearly Clinical: I did a training with them called "Our Role Moving Forward: Reproductive Justice as Harm Reduction and Ethical Imperative (Ep. 153)" https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5b88d97f3917ee5e785ed510/t/62bcb8197e8b821eefd42726/1656535280326/CEU+Reproductive+Rights+Resources+Handout.pdf

• From the mass.gov website: https://www.helpsteps.com/#/

• General information found at: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion/it-still-legal-me-get-abortion